Struggling As An Introvert With Anxiety

I’m sorry I’m an introvert suffering from an anxiety disorder.  No, seriously. I’m super sorry.  Here’s all the terrible crap I do because my introverted tendencies get in the way of a normal life.

I Disappear Sometimes

If I’m the head of a project, I stay in touch. Or if I’m going to book it for a few days to gather myself, I give some warning. But if I’m merely one cog in a wheel I might boogie out for a few days without warning.  This is awful.  I just get… overwhelmed? And when I talk about the project I feel like I’m bugging everyone.

So like I’m totally still here… but… I’ll be here… over there… under that planter.  Ciao!

Actual footage of me avoiding my projects….

I Cancel Plans To Do Nothing

We should TOTALLY hang out this weekend.  But… I’ve been socializing too damn much this week.  So… can I just… sleep? Or browse Reddit? Or hug my cat. That new anime looks good. I’m going to watch that for twelve straight hours.  Then I’ll browse Reddit again. Hey this Wikipedia article on Poles of Inaccessibility is fascinating.  I’m going to read that for the rest of the weekend.

What?? No, god, it’s nothing personal.  I love you man. I just can’t PEOPLE right now.

I Won’t Initiate Conversation For Months

Wow I’m probably bothering you messaging you all the time. I’m just going to quit cold turkey.  Probably the easiest way to deal with this.  You probably won’t even notice.  That’s cool bro.

What? NO! I’m not mad at you! In fact, I love you so much I wanted to save you from my constant pestering.

I Say “Thank You” Too Much OR Not Enough

There’s no in between here.  I don’t know how to be gracious in an appropriate way.  I either say “thank you” forty times in a minute, which is totally overdoing it.  Or I get so flattered I forget to say “thank you” at all then feel like a big ol’ jerk afterwards.

I Overshare

Right. Okay. So this blog post is a prime example of this point.  I want you to understand me and why I am the way that I am.  It’s not an excuse. Just an attempt at showing the weird weird inner workings of my brain.  Not that you asked.  Not that you exactly need to know. But I’d rather you think I’m sort of an emotional mess than a jerk. So hey, here’s all my baggage! I don’t hate you! I don’t want to avoid you forever! I’m just… an emotional wreck omfg I’m sorry.

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