Every August I get hit with a severe depression. It’s the end of SDCC and the end of Gish and I have nothing on my schedule to look forward to. This year isn’t as bad as last year where I had lost an aunt and had personal property stolen, but it’s still pretty bad.
Depression is hard to describe unless you’ve been through it. It’s more than just being sad. For me it’s just this helpless, hopeless feeling of not wanting to go on… not wanting to get out of bed or do laundry or make food. What’s the point? Everything I look forward to every year is over so all motivation to keep things together is gone.
There’s a convention coming up here in Hawaii that I may or may not go to. I wasn’t planning on going but I may get a press badge so… that’d be a pretty big determining factor. I also want to start a fandom event like a fanworks themed week or a big or mini bang. I’m not entirely sure what, though. I just need… something. When nothing on my agenda I find myself in a free fall.