Happy National Coming Out Day!

Happy National Coming Out Day!

I’m out in most places.  I came out throughout high school gradually, then started college completely out from the get go. I was accidentally outed to my dad when he found a social media profile that showed interest in men and women. Then I told my mom a couple years ago when I just couldn’t keep it from her any more.  I’m SORT OF out at work, in the sense that I don’t lie if asked but it doesn’t come up.  A few weeks ago we had a “get to know you” game where we talked about our “celebrity crush” and I said Aubrey Plaza. If choosing a woman surprised anyone, they kept it hidden.

But as is tradition, I’m going to post anyway just in case someone missed the memo.

To put it simply, I’m “queer.” You can leave it at that if you’d like.  Or you can start to dig a little deeper.

I’m a high Kinsey scale panromantic/biromantic demisexual.

whoa wtf does that mean? Let’s break it down.

High Kinsey Scale : The Kinsey Scale is a (flawed) system of measurement between straight and gay.  The lower numbers (starting at zero) are straight and the higher numbers (ending at 6) are gay. I’m a high number.  I’m interested in men occasionally, but prefer women.

Panromantic/biromantic: My romantic orientation isn’t so much attached to someone’s gender. I’ll date anyone regardless of what’s in their pants or what letter is next to their name on their official documents, though as noted above I do lean a certain way.

There’s a lot of debate about the difference between being pan and bi and while I prefer the term pan I am putting both here to side step that debate because that’s not really what this post is about.  Maybe another time, another blog post.

Demisexual: This is related to being asexual.  I’m not terribly interested in sex without a deep emotional connection. Maybe I’ll develop an interest. Maybe I won’t. But it’s not a driving force behind my relationships.

So if that’s all confusing, just call me Queer. I like that label and it’s simple. But in case you were curious, all my cards are on the table here.

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One Response to Happy National Coming Out Day!

  1. Al though you told me(I’m Angels Mom)just a few years back that you were Queer/Bi I already knew. I knew when you were in high school. Who a person loves, same gender or not, doesn’t matter to me. What does matter is that whoever you choose to share a part of your life with has to treat you kind and respect you for who you are, all of who you are.
    So, yeah, I’ve known pretty much since day one.
    I have never been in a romantic relationship with a woman but I have, my entire life, felt attracted to the same gender. I totally subscribe to the theory that you are drawn to people for what/who they are inside and not on which gender some religion tells us we have to be with.
    I also understand the struggle of coming out. I myself came out at age 21. No, not Queer coming out but, I came out that I am Pagan(Hedge Witch). Shallow people judge but you and I we don’t hang out with shallow people so who cares, right?
    Love you Stephanie.

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